Pressured to be in a relationship

By: Eric Michua

2018, Christmas eve, 7:00 pm as you walk to your family members front door, the smell of gingerbread cookies hit your nose as soon as they open the door. 9:00 pm comes around and as you talk with your family members, you hear that one question you get one thousand times “Do you have a Girlfriend/Boyfriend”?

It feels like every time you talk to them, they always bring it up. It makes you feel obligated to be in a relationship, even if you are not ready for one or you're not looking for a relationship because of school, making money, yourself or other things.

I was always moving school and the goal was the same, find a girlfriend. I never asked myself why this was so important at the time, I think it was the subliminal message on social media and maybe that’s why I felt like I needed to be looking for that, years past and I stopped doing this once I got into high school because of YouTube.

I was the definition of simp back then and for the people who don’t know what Simp means google explains it pretty well. “A simp is a man who foolishly overvalued a woman and put her on a pedestal.” and oh boy I was a simp, if this word was only popular back then I probably snap out of it super fast.

Psychology Today found that “friends have more say in your relationships [sic] Than You Think,The most influential people in our lives can be our friends and family, those whom we trust the most. We often look to them for advice and approval of our relationships. So, it is not surprising that these people can have a big influence on our relationships.”

Michel Michua a 9th grader at Shirakawa school said the same thing, his friends pressured him to be in a relationship even though he didn’t have feelings for this girl but got into it anyways. “I never plan to be in a relationship, I just wasn’t ready to commit but all my friends pressured me to do it. I didn’t know anything about this girl but I still gave it a go.”

Long story short he said the relationship didn’t work out, “I barely knew anything about this girl from the start and I guess that just made this thing not work out.”

Honestly I don’t mind; it’s not hard explaining to people why I don’t want to be in a relationship. It’s only the people who don’t understand, that’s the hard part. You try to explain to them and they think your lying, saying stuff like “It’s okay bro, you don’t have to lie to us” thinking I say it as an excuse because I don’t have a lover but in reality that’s not the case, in my case I want to feel comfortable in my skin before anything else and I think for some people it the same thing.

For others it may be different stuff, here’s some examples of what I mean. People don’t know what happens behind closed doors and that’s why they assume, but behind those closed doors hard work is getting done and they’re getting closer and closer to their goal.

Just like @ItsShxrtyy on Twitter said:

“Been on a journey of self love for just over a year now and honestly it’s the most rewarding and exciting process.Took me 3 years to find my feet after a relationship, found the confidence to start dating again and have done. It takes time and a lot of strength.”

“I only care about money right now, a relationship would easily slow me down.

money is the only thing i’m passionate about right now,” says @TheRedMachine7, a Twitter friend of mine.

But for other people like @Valerieswir: “I’m just going through it right now man, I’ll get to where you’re at but it’ll take a minute and that’s ok. I’m allowed to be sad for a minute.”

Relationships aren’t all rainbows and sunshine, that’s why you gotta have both of your feet on the ground, so when stuff goes South; you get yourself to keep you in check.

In the end Many people want to be in a relationship, I don’t blame them, you just want someone to love you as much as you love them, I get it, but don’t jump into it because everyone else is, don’t make a relationship your first priority, look at it more like an accessory. Some people need a bit of time and that’s okay, it’s not a race of who’s first or whatever.

Do what makes YOU happy and don't let peer pressure win you over, if your friends think you're not cool because you won’t do what they do, that’s okay, because I think you're cool enough either way, so lift your head up your crown is falling off.