adjusting to a new change

By Eunice Rios

When going through a problem, have you ever thought to yourself, I can do it on my own. I don’t need help from anyone. Some people find it cowardly to talk about your problems and to cry about them. Well, that’s where you’re wrong.

As teens, we are at that age where we want to do things our own way. We think that the problems we have are because of us. Victoria Guzman, a sophomore at Andrew Hill, has thought that way before.

Her parents are splitting up and she doesn't know how to take it. “It affects me by putting me in a state where I feel like everything is my fault,” Guzman says. Some people are very vulnerable to this type of situation and sometimes they don't know how to deal with it.

According to the Center on the Child Developing Child article, “What are ACE’s? And How Do They Relate To Toxic Stress?,” Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE’s) is when a child is experiencing physical, emotional, and/or mental abuse. The article says that people with ACE’s are prone to have trauma, depression, obesity, substance abuse, early death, and poor academic achievement.

During the beginning of that problem, she cried a lot and went through depression, anxiety, and was lacking in school. It was a lot for her to take in especially when always seeing her parents by her side as she was growing up.

As time went by, Guzman started to feel a little better, but was still sad at the fact that her parents were getting divorced. Her only escape was writing, “I write how I’m feeling in a notebook. I then burn the pages. It helps me relieve pain and stress from everything going on around me.”

Victoria goes to therapy, but it doesn't really help her feel better. When she goes through problems, she doesn't talk much to her family. There’s no one she really trusts but me or her boyfriend.

She sees her parents arguing a lot and not getting along, it hurts her because it can no longer be the same as it used to be, “I would want to do something about it, but I wouldn't know what to do. I honestly don’t know.”

As stated by the Healing Centered Endangered article, “The Future of Healing: Shifting From Trauma Informed Care to Healing Centered Engagement,” says that “young have trouble adapting to new challenges.”

There is more than just sadness when seeing your parents getting a divorce. There’s pain. Her mother still loves her dad, but she gets sad because he doesn't love her back. Victoria and her mom both struggle not having the happy family from before.

Forgiving a parent who had a choice but made the wrong choice is difficult to do. Victoria’s father had a choice between alcohol and his family. “I don’t forgive him for his decision, but yes to something else because he has opened up to me before and I understand.”

Victoria has a younger sister, who she takes care of and is very protective of. Her sister is 3 years old, but by the time her dad leaves them, she won’t have any memory of him. “I would just talk to her about it because she’s lucky it happened before she could remember.”

Victoria was sad and felt many things in the beginning, just as anyone else would be, but she kept moving forward. She left a short message for people who are going through the same problem right now, “I would say don’t blame yourself and just keep fighting the pain.