being a teen parent
through my mom's eyes

By Carina Rodriguez

My mom had me when she was just 17 years old. The age that I am currently today. “17” you might say isn’t really that young but you're still a teen. What can you do at 17? nothing, you are not considered an adult until you turn 18 and 21 to be able to purchase alcohol. You still hang out with friends, you still sneak out and have adventures without getting caught. Do stuff that you know is wrong to do but you do it cause you’re still just a kid.

That's what an average 17 year old would do. But my mom couldn’t do all that, my mom moved out when she was just 16 and ½ with my dad. She moved out thinking that she would get all the freedom in the world. She was tired of sneaking out, she wanted to have more adventures but not need to sneak out or ask permission. She was in a hurry to grow up.

Mom: Let me tell you the reason why I had a kid though, at that age. Because, me fue de mi casa [I left my house] thinking that I was going to be able to do everything that I wasn’t allowed to do when I was at home. I thought that I was going to be able to go out, like go out with my friends. Some stuff that i wasn’t allowed to do at home with my sisters.

But that’s not how it ended up being. Being pregnant wasn’t my mom's biggest concern; she was scared of being alone with me even if it was just for a second. She didn’t know how to change my diaper or how to shower me. She was clueless just how any teen would be in that situation.

Mom:I didn’t get the heck of it. I was just so happy. When I really like, faced it and found out, dije “shoot,ya eres mama,” [you’re a mom] when I was giving birth. Then when I saw you que crees [guess what] I was happy, obviously I was happy. Pero [but] it was cuando dije [when I said] “what am I gonna do? How am I gonna know that she 's okay, ni siquiera sé qué hacer. [I don't even know how to do basic home chores] How am I going to change her diaper, como la voy a bañar? [how am I supposed to shower her] I never stayed alone with you until you were probably 3 to 4 months. Never, never, never was I able to be alone. Pues no sabia que hacer, [well I didn’t know what to do] I was so, so scared. The first time I was able to shower you, you were able to sit down. Like I was not even able to clean your belly button, How was- how was I supposed to?

I was in shock. I never knew my mom had fear of being left alone with me as a baby because she didn’t know what to do. My mom was a senior in high school, and she would’ve been able to graduate around 2004. I was curious and wanted to know more about why she got kicked out of Andrew Hill and if she ever tried to go back to school after having me. My mom had a male counselor who told her that she couldn't continue going to Andrew hill due to the fact that she was pregnant so he told her that James Link had a program where she can continue going to school to graduate. The lady at the office in James link disrespected my mom because she was a teen and was pregnant.

Cari: What did Andrew Hill tell you when you tried to go back to school even though you were pregnant?

Mom: No, they actually called me out of one of my classes. I was talking to one of my friends in the bathroom

Cari: Mhm

Mom: And she’s like “you haven't come to school in two weeks. What’s wrong?” Dice [she said] “You look sick.” I’m not gonna come back, nomas viene porque tengo unas cosas, [I just came for some stuff] that I wanted to grab. And she was like “why?” I was like “I’m pregnant.” I think there was a girl in the bathroom y nosotros no la vimos [and we didn't see] her cause obviously you go in and your look your little thing-

Cari: Stall

Mom: So after I was going back to class like, literally nomas llege y me sente [I just got there and sat] like in my little desk pues- y este sabia que [well- and I knew that] something was wrong y me dice [and she tells me] “you have to go to the office.” Y se paro [and she stood] right in front of me, me vio. [looked at me] And I was like “okay” y me dice [and she tells me] “uhh, they want you to take your stuff.” I was like “ Did someone come and pick me up?” y le hace [and she was like] “ I really don’t know.” So, agare mis cosas [ I got my stuff] and I went to the office, they had my papers ready cause I couldn’t be in school because I was pregnant. No me dieron [they didn;t give me] transfer papers, like to go to another school. Nada.[nothing] They literally dropped me off from school.

Mom: Me counselor era un hombre [was a male] and he’s like “If you want to go back to school you could go to James Link. Haces una cita con el principal y él te va decir si puedes o no puedes estar ahí. Es el único lugar que pueden agarrar personas así.”[ you make an appointment with the principal and he will tell you if you can or can’t be there. It’s the only place that can get people like that.] I was like “oh, okay.” So I did, went to James Link. I took my papers, the ones that they gave me at Andrew Hill.

Cari:Mhm

Mom: And the freaking receptionist she was like “uhh okay, what do you want to see the principle for?” I was like, “ I wanted to see if I could like, go back to school.” Me pregunto si era una estudiante de [ she asked me if I was a student from] James Link. I was like,”No.” Y luego me dice [then she tells me] “ Have you ever been enrolled in highschool?” And I was like “Yes.”

Receptionist: “ What school?”

Mom: “Andrew hill.”

Receptionist: “What's the reason of moving?”

Mom: “Because me sacaron de la escuela, [they pulled me out of school] I’m pregnant, Le conte.” [I told her]

Receptionist: “ What makes you think we want you here?”

Mom: And I was like, “ My counselor said it was the only school that would accept me.”

Mom: Me dijo que el [she told me that the] principal was not in campus ese dia [that day] and she said “ What are you doing right now at home?” Y le dijo yo “Nada.” Me dice [ and I told her, “nothing”] “ You're lying, you're making babies.” Así me dijo. No fue patras y cuántos créditos me faltaron para guardarme, 16. [That’s how she told me. I didn’t go back and how many credit did I need to graduate, 16] Porque a ese punto [because at that point] like, when I really did want to graduate

There were a lot of moments when my parents were treated rudely because they were teen parents. I was extremely overweight as a baby and I struggled to walk. My mom grew worried and took me to the doctor to help. They refused to help her because my dad was working and couldn’t go.

Mom: You talked before you walked. Walking was a struggle. When you were born you were a tiny normal baby, in weight tambien.[too] Pero como al ano, [but around a year] like gained weight, like hella. And no, honestly that kept me awake todas las noches.{ [every night] Seeing your piernas.[legs] I was always like, “Que hago?, Que hago?” [ what do I do?, what do I do?] I would take you to the doctor often. Te hicieron muchas pruebas [they took a lot of test on you]-- like, de la sangre. [blood] Because they were thinking it was like this disease, because íbamos y no bajabas de peso.[ we would go and you wouldn’t lose weight] Instead of going down you go up.

Mom: I went to the appointment by myself. Y qué crees que me dijo? [and guess what they told me]

Cari: mmm?

Nurse: “So, la niña no tiene papa?” [ so the girl doesn’t have a dad]

Mom: le dije “si.” [ I said, “yes”]

Nurse: “Okay, dile a la muchacha que te haga otra cita. Los quiero ver los dos aquí.” [ Tell the lady to make another appointment. I want to see both of you here.]

Mom: Así,[ like that] like so straight. “Pero es que no puede venir porque trabaja” le dije. [ but he can’t come with me because he’s working, I told her]

Nurse: “ Pero es su hija. Que se pida el día yo le voy a dar un papel.” [ But it’s his daughter. He can ask for a day off I will give him a paper]

Mom: Yes. They even brought a mexican, mexican nutritionist de Mexico so they can talk to you dad in Spanish. So he's like “ yo estoy aquí por 6 meses para ella. Ella en 6 meses va a bajar de peso y va caminar.”[ I will be here for 6 months for her. She will lose weight and walk in 6 months.] Guess what?

Cari: what?

Mom: A month later you walked.

I knew my mom was a teen parent but I never knew the struggles she went through and what was going through her head at the time. I was curious about how my parents handle getting money to even afford necessities and stuff.

Mom: Money wise it was--

Cari: How was that?

Mom: It was a struggle.

Cari: Why?

Mom: Because we didn’t have money. Your dad was the only one working. I wasn’t working at the time. Imaginate, [imagine] to the point where I had even go under my-- los asientos de mi caro [seats from my car] to get pennies out. It was really a struggle. Y para agarrar trabajo [and to get a job] like, ponerme más edad.[add years to my age] Because we couldn’t afford money to pay for your diapers, wipes.

I always wanted to ask my mom if she regretted having her kids back to back from 17 to 21 to 22.

Cari: Any good things about having kids at that age?

Mom: Right now?

Cari: Yes.

Mom: Yes. I feel young. Uhh honestly, I wouldn’t change it. No, cause I wouldn't change anything. Like, porque todo [because everything] is probably-- everything that I went through made me the person that I am right now.

Being a kid and raising a kid can be scary and I can tell you from my point of view being a 17. I am still scared to even take care of a baby. I may not be close to my mom and we may not have the best relationship. But besides all the arguments and disagreements I hope she knows that I am trying to make her proud. I love you mom.