Beautiful Pain

By Sam Huynh

Look back at 2019 and look at all the good and bad things that happened that year. Who would’ve thought that a global pandemic would happen in 2020 and set the world into a panic?

Well for me, 2019 was one of the worst years for me. I had a hard time in school, had to move schools, and my mom and I didn’t get along.

When the global pandemic hit I was confused and a little anxious. It was very hard for a lot of people including me.

It was hard to adapt to a new flow of society at first but then I came to realise that it wasn’t so bad for me like others. When it was just the first few weeks of school being closed, I felt more relaxed staying home and being able to play games and chill all day and thought it was a nice break away from being at school.

My friend Mladen is one of those people who had a harder time because of COVID. Mladen had a harder time in school because of COVID. He admits to cheating on his homework as well because he couldn’t keep up with his classes.

Mladen: “Absolutely, I’ve cheated on a lot of assignments and had some work that I could’ve finished or finished in time but missed. It’s been a lot easier to get distracted during classes but while it’s easier, it’s still my fault for not paying enough or any attention to some of my classes.”

When Mladen had told me about this I had felt really bad for him under the circumstances that he was in. I always kept telling him “Hard work pays off in the end. It may not be easy but just try to push through it then you’ll be free of the stress.”.

During the early stages of COVID, I really missed hanging out with my friends as well and I often wondered how they were doing. But Mladen and I had always kept in touch during COVID.

He and I would always be on a group call with other friends almost everyday, playing games, telling stories and even watching movies together.

He, too, has missed being around with friends and being at school and having that physical connection with others.

Mladen: “I do miss being with friends though, hanging out in the mornings, during breaks and lunch, seeing some favorite teachers I previously had, and being in some classrooms.”

We often wondered when things would get back to normal and asked ourselves questions like “When are we going to go back to school?” and “When’s the mall going to open again?”. While we don’t know when stuff like that can happen again, it’s a small thing to think about with him sometimes. He and I have some events we are anticipating in the near future like the upcoming Batman movie.

During early COVID a lot of people started to feel more lonely and depressed because of the lack of physical interactions and being home all day every day.

For me at first I didn’t really mind it, I was just on my computer all day and playing games while talking with friends online but during all that I was missing a brother who lives in a different household.

I got bored a lot. Not being able to see my friends and other family members really took a toll on me and more and more I felt depressed.

My brother had gone back to his household but my aunt and uncle didn’t let him come over due to their fear of him possibly transferring COVID back to them and I couldn’t see friends as well. The fun feeling of getting together with other friends had just completely vanished.

So when I asked Mladen about his mentality during COVID, it was very similar, if not identical, to mine.

Mladen: “Mentally, COVID affected me negatively at least in some ways, I’ve been missing hanging out with some people, my life hasn’t been as eventful as I’m not seeing friends several times a week or going to school in person. I’ve also gotten to see how dark my life could get and how incredibly strong I am, how no matter what or who is in my way, I’m pushing through no matter what.”.

When talking about our mental states during COVID, we also wonder: what’s the first thing we’re going to do when COVID has died down? Maybe go see a movie or go to the beach with some friends.

Personally, I want to spend time with my brother when that time comes. I haven’t spent any time with him physically for the past year now. I miss him coming over every weekend to hangout with me. We usually play games and watch movies while he’s over.

I asked Mladen what he wanted to do when COVID was over since I already had plans to hangout with my brother. Mladen wants to do activities that he hasn’t done in a long time because of covid restrictions.

Mladen: “The first thing that I might do once COVID is over is probably hang out with friends again and finally be able to go without keeping our distance and having masks. I've seen friends during covid but seeing them without the restrictions is something to look forward to. One of my friends just last night talked about an idea about us hanging out and watching movies together at his or my place which I’m also looking forward to! I’ve also got some ideas in mind for what I might do during the summer.”.

During the past year, I’ve learned a lot during COVID. I learned to have confidence in myself during quarantine through trying to cook new foods and being able to keep going everyday during this hard time.

I made the best out of it and I hoped that everyone else did as well.

A new year is approaching soon and I hope that the next one will be the best one out of the past three years.