The Void in Our hearts

By: Eric Michua

November 27 2016, I was at my Dad’s cousin's house. I was up stairs with a few kids taking turns playing GTA 5 on the xbox 360. Our older friend who owns the xbox was 18 and I remember looking at him and told him “Don’t you care that we’re wasting all your money” and he replied with “I’m grown, I don’t play video games anymore it doesn’t matter to me” I told him why? And he said I “don’t have time anymore to play” I thought to myself “what?! I would never give up playing games, they are fun, they have helped me throw a lot and that's why they have a special place in my heart. I will still play video games because I’m not forgetting about my roots but I won’t play as much as I used to But anyways now being around his age I finally understand what he meant by “I’m grown”.

Our mentality grew, we grew, we don’t want the same things anymore. Video games don’t feel like they use to.. Why? Because we are lonely, we have nothing to fill that void in our hearts, games help with our stress anxiety but games don’t always hold up. Games are just getting boring but love is something else. We went from loving something unconditionally like video games to wanting something that will love us back like a partner.These feelings that come to us are inevitable, it’s Human Nature, we can’t really do anything about it but to listen to them.

Every time there's a holiday like Christmas or new years and my family and friends are inside talking to each other I go outside by myself to relax, feeling that cold air hitting my face looking up at the moon and all round me thinking to myself, and I start feeling these feelings again. I don’t want to be alone, people all around me but I still feel alone. I wish I could spend it with someone special, I want to share these beautiful moments with them. I don’t want to think about it but if I just keep ignoring it, the void in my heart will keep growing. I’m not ready.. I want to work on myself…. I’m on my own journey right now…. But damn it sure gets lonely sometimes.

I used to have a group of online friends that we used to play every day or so, we had so much fun together like laughing so hard at 1 in morning because one of our friends got so high he fell in love with a Fortnite character and the next morning she told me he was very embarrassed trying to play it off like it was nothing. you get the point. But all good things have to come to an end and now everybody’s busy with school, work ,life, and the game we all loved and played well. It's not the same anymore, it turned into a whole different game. But when I do get on to see what’s new and hear that Christmas music I think of them and the good times we had and I smile, and think to myself this one Doctor Seuss quote “Don't Cry Because It's Over; Smile Because It Happened”.

You might be thinking to yourself what does this have anything to do with what you said not too long ago well you see. People grow up, we can’t do the same things anymore and feelings change. Were getting older, we should make the most out of it and cherish every moment while we can.Games won’t make you happy forever, money won’t make you happy forever, if you keep feeding it that, well then The void in our hearts will stay forever.