From Girl to Woman

By Gina Pedroza

When I was little I would always wonder and dream about how i would be when i was older. I idolized my mom because she was the most beautiful woman who was capable of anything.

But as I grew older I didn't really want to become the woman that I idolized. My mom taught me what being a real woman was and all the dangers and struggles that came along with it.

As a little girl the only worries i had was if i would have enough time after homework to play with my monster high dolls. I never worried about crushes or what I looked like or even about my general safety.

Once I reached middle school things got much more difficult for me regarding my self image and mental health. As a young girl I was taught to love myself regardless of what people around me thought. But as a hormonal depressed middle schooler I began to develop a hatred towards any part of me that boys did not necessarily find attractive, and this is when the body dysmorphia and eating disorders began.

But once i started to go see a therapist regularly my self hatred deteriorated and i became much more confident within myself. The eating disorder stopped and I started loving myself for who I was.

As I regained my confidence during the recent quarantine period, the Black Lives Matter movement began once again. I became more aware of the problems around the world and I began to read more and more on women's and human rights. I read at least 4 books so far on feminism and how our society plays a big role in oppressing men and women around the world.

I learned many things that i didn't know previously. I wasn't as aware of all the dangers that women go through day to day. Whether that be walking alone at night, going to the grocery store alone or a night out with friends. They were all considered dangerous situations and are usually avoided by some women and girls.

Other than being afraid to live a normal life; whenever I would have spoken up about issues that mattered to me there was always that one guy, sometimes even two, that think that it's an overreaction. And trust me, I've had my fair share of run ins with misogynistic men and women. And yes women can be misogynists. Ignorance does not discriminate. Sometimes i told myself that fighting with people like them was a waste of my time, but then started to realize that if i don't correct them on their mistakes, then who would? So it kind of became my job to make sure that people know the common misconceptions that a lot of people believe in.

Though at times it could be exhausting to be a woman, I wouldn't necessarily change anything about the fact that I am one. I understand that we kind of live in a man's world and we have to work 2x harder in order to get equal recognition and be extra cautious of our surroundings, but being a woman has taught me so much about life and how blind we are to reality.