Antidote

By: Samuel Huynh

My whole life I always felt like I was a poison in the world due to what everyone tells me. Usually people keep telling me things that would make me question whether or not I’m a good person or a bad person.

I’ve made many mistakes and people tend to heavily judge or criticize me for them. I always try my hardest to not mess anything up but usually things don’t go my way. Just two years ago, I was still living with my aunt and uncle. They had very strict rules and I felt like I couldn’t live freely as myself.

I tried living my way under their roof along with my brother and father, but they didn’t like the way I lived my life I guess. I got criticized a lot from them because of the way I lived and it affected my school life and my social life.

One of the things that they would always tell me is that I play too many video games and that it was really affecting my grades but really it was them who were affecting my grades since they were always looking at my grades everyday and it started to stress me out because of all the pressure.

Another thing that they would tell me is that I am unorganized but I really felt that I was organized just not how they wanted me to be. They had a very serious schedule on when to do stuff like eat or sleep but I didn’t follow that schedule and I got in a lot of trouble for it.

After moving back in with my mom, I felt the same way that I did at my aunt and uncle’s place because she would have similar rules to them and she was also bothering me with my grades all the time as well. She and I don’t get along very well and we have a lot of arguments.

One time we had an argument because she kept inviting people over to our house when there is a pandemic going on. I got very upset when she just dismissed me as stupid and said that I don’t know anything because I’m just a child.

Ever since the argument, drama has been minimal and I feel like I know what to do in these arguments now. After both of these experiences with these people, I felt like nobody really wanted me around and felt very alone.

Currently I still feel like I’m a poison to people but not as much as I did before. I learned that I don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations but mine. I know now that I have to stand up for myself and that I won’t be brought down so easily.