Scarns turn to lessons

By Karen Machuca

Verania Madriz a 14 year old at Yerba Buena highschool. Here is her story of when she was bullied in the 7th grade and how that changed her. Verania had the tools but didn’t have the awareness of the situation at the time, throughout middle school she realized that and this is how it affected her. A girl (her bully) had caused her much pain. She always called her names and wanted Verania to feel like less than her. Verania only continued being her friend because she felt bad that the others picked on her. The girl was jealous that they would never pick on Verania and began to bully her.

Verania: “She made me feel that like whatever I told her, that she would go and basically tell everybody else.”

Verania never told her parents that she was being bullied at the time.

Verania: “The reason why I didn’t tell my parents was because I didn’t want to have them worrying as like I was getting , like really treated terribly at school while I was at school. And my mom would be worried or something’’

Verania handled this situation on her own by defending herself and not letting the main girl talk badly about her. Other kids in her friend group would also bully Verania around. Sooner or later those friends would back off.

Verania: “ they would also like they would kind of be kind of made fun of by the guys that were there. And since I wasn't really picked on by them so I felt like also they kind of felt like why the hell won't she also getting picked on. Because I wasn't one to be very like “ Oh my God look at me ‘’so yeah ” .

Verania was new to Yerba Buena and she said that the first day of school was scary because she was starting off new. Her friends from before had separated, and she had to make new ones.She misses her three close friends because they don’t go to school here but she still talks to them to this day. They were the ones who stuck around with Verania. They always had great times together.

Verania: “ It was a bit you know, a bit sad because I wasn't going to be able to see them as much anymore”

Verania: “It was fun, I was able to be myself, and I didn’t really have to change who I was, yeah”

“I started talking to them like in 6th grade. And then another one I started talking

to like in 7th and then the other one in 8th”.

Verania never told her parents or her older sisters. So no one was involved or knew of this situation. Verania just learned to deal with herself and managed to face her bullies. But sometimes it didn’t always go the way Verania hoped it would be.

Verania: “I started treating them the way they were treating me, It kinda backfired and they were calling me the shake.”

“There were like multiple people, they would kind of make fun of me. But I mean they were ugly as hell. I would call them an egg. (laughs) ”

She didn’t have anyone involved but a couple of people in her friend group were trying to warn her about the main bully and trying to hint at her. That she was saying these things about her. Verania just let it go through one ear and out the other ear. She didn’t want others involved with her situation. But she had the help she refused to get at the moment.

Verania: “To be honest I did. But since I was in the stage, I didn’t want to listen to them like I was. Just I don't know. I kind of pushed them away from me so I didn’t quite have that much hope’’.

During distance learning in 8th grade, Verania told her older sisters about the whole situation. She couldn’t hold that in anymore. Her sisters were upset but not upset that Verania didn’t tell them when she was getting bullied. Verania explained that her sister's way would’ve been different in handling this. like going to the school and causing a scene and making this situation worse. Then how Verania simply handled it. She regretted not saying anything, but things would've been different. This left Verania with a bad impression of how friendships work.

Verania: “It kind of led me to get some trust issues.” I had to go from being in a tight place to being in a very open space, trying to fit in with them’’. ‘’ And then at the same time,the reason it made me feel even worse was like the girl mainly also did it, yeah. That group didn’t even like her like they would talk about her and then I would still be the one that would say ‘’oh no’’ look it's fine, you know , like you can just hang out with me. And I guessed it backfired’’.

The main girl who bullied her would talk about her, and brag about material items. Like one time her bully was showing off a ‘’expensive water bottle container’’ to verania, trying to make verania feel less than. Verania just ignored that type of behavior from her bully and went about her day. Verania shared that she is not the type of girl to be like that. The bully also talked to other people about Verania and made up fake stories about her. Nothing physical ever occurred because Verania said there was no need to fight, it wasn't worth it. Verania did make an effort to stay as a friend in the group with the people that were left. The last conversation with those people was 2 days before her birthday. Two to three people out of the group made up with Verania and she talks to them to this day.

Verania: “I learned from my past experience to not just automatically trust that person’’.

Verania regrets not doing something sooner, she thought it would have made things worse. She did make an effort to try to stay with the friend group in the middle of the situation, but they never showed any interest in staying as friends until everything was ending. As far as Verania sensed, even if she tried to stay friends with her main bully, who were close before the bickering occured. Things would have probably been the same staying together. It wasn’t a fight worth fighting. So Verania left them instead of continuing with these “fake’’ friends. Now verania finds people who she can connect to and create awesome memories with.

‘’Um bye, you don't want to say bye? Verania: uh Bye'’.

For the Warrior Times, this is Karen Machuca