oh boy!

By Cari R.

When I was 10 years old I was in a really depressive state of mind. I would hang out with two girls. They would body shame me for not being “skinny.” Reminder, I was just a 10 year old kid, I was not supposed to worry about being skinny or having thin legs and arms.

I then also started getting bullied for having hair on my arm. I would get called monkey, gorilla or even in the worst cases they would tell me I was a guy. These girls kept bullying me but because I was so lonely and I wanted to fit in and have friends I let everything slide.

It got to the point where they would pull my hair and slap me on multiple occasions. I was harming myself in ways I thought would make me feel better. I wouldn't eat and if I did eat something I would make myself throw up. Everything I was going through at that time was just at school.

Stuff at home wasn't the best. At the time my parents weren't together and my mom was with her so-called friend. My mom's significant other never really seemed to be a good person to me. His vibes and just everything made me dislike him very much.

My mom was so in need of someone to love her since my dad and her separated that she would only listen to the guy and ignore me. This had a huge impact on me so I called my aunt and ranted to my aunt about what was happening at home. She told me that I had a choice of going home and getting my clothes and going with her.

So I moved in with my aunt. She took me in because I didn't want to deal with the drama of my mom, my dad and her significant other. I lived with my aunt for about a year and a half. I wouldn't talk to my mom.

I was mad that my parents had separated. I remember going to my sister's birthday and my mom announcing her pregnancy, but the child's dad left my mom after finding out he got her pregnant.

As a kid I didn't like the idea of having a brother and not being “related” to them. My thoughts were, “if we don't have the same parents we aren't related.” While on the other hand my siblings were very happy.

I was very distant until my aunt called me into her room. She began to tell me,” Maybe you should give the baby and your mom a chance, yeah your dad may not be in your life but maybe this change is for the good.” “You can't blame everything on your mom and the baby’s dad.”

Well after that talk I moved back in with my mom. The first thing that happened once I moved back was that I got my own room and I got introduced to Leo the baby.

Over the time of Leo growing up I was distant until my mom went back to work and. We had a babysitter and I got to spend more time with Leo. My bond with Leo grew closer. He would always come to me to carry him.

We would play and I got to teach him how to say words and everything. I began to regret not calling him my brother. I knew that the thoughts I used to have were so childish.

Moving forward to now. I guess I can say I raised Leo and he is like my own child, but I'm not complaining. He makes me happy and Leo really is my motivation, and Alexis too ( my boyfriend).

Everything happens for a reason. And I'm glad that Leo is in my life even though he doesn't know it, he definitely pulled me out of a dark place.

I love and care for you very much Leo.

Leo “I love you carina.”

For the warrior times, this is Cari Rodriguez.