Embedded Files
By Kathy Cao
Ever since we were little my big sister and I have always been extremely close to each other, being that we were only one year apart. As we grew older, without a doubt, she has become my role model. I would admire her from afar, not being able to show my true thoughts, because I thought that was embarrassing.
When she turned eighteen, the admiration turned into envy. I became envious of the freedom she had from our parents and the world. From being able to adopt her first dog to be able to buy anything she wanted. I was extremely jealous.
But that jealousy took a turn for the worse when I turned eighteen. I always thought that turning eighteen was when my freedom started. When I would be free to enjoy what the world had to offer. I never once thought about the responsibilities that came with becoming independent.
Photo Credit: Kathy Cao
So what does it mean to be independent? To be able to have independence?
While some might believe that being independent starts after you finish high school or when you turn eighteen and become an adult, I believe that you become independent when you start having responsibilities of your own.
Like my parents, who immigrated from Vietnam, they became independent when they first stepped foot into the United States by themselves as teenagers. By themselves, they had to find a job that would pay them enough to pay rent for wherever they were living.
Photo Credit: Kathy Cao
My independence wasn’t like that at all. I thought that once I turned eighteen was when I was going to become independent, but it was all confusing. I didn’t know where to start, how to make money, how to save money, and most importantly which career path I was going to choose from. I couldn’t find help from my parents since they didn’t have the same choices that I have. So, I decided to follow in my older sister’s footsteps. Over the past decade, Kristina was the one person who knew me better than everyone else.
Kristina: “Your shyness is very different I think you’ve evolved a lot over the years. Like I think you couldn’t even order any food at a young age but now you’re like going anyplaces or talking to other people by yourself and being like really independent. Yes, I think you’re more mature. I don’t think you’re like, you weren’t mature, I don’t think you weren’t mature back then, but it just every grows/mature differently. I think you had maturity at a young age already.”
She was the first person in my entire family to go to college. I knew she had expectations that my parents had set out for her. I knew that she was struggling but she never showed the difficulty she had. On top of that, when she decided to adopt a dog from the shelter she was responsible for taking care of him physically and financially.
Photo Credit: Kathy Cao
It was hard having both of our parents at work every day because that meant that the four of us had to take care of ourselves and each other. This pushed Kristina to mature faster than she was meant to be.
Kristina: “I was kind of independent from a young age. Like I didn’t want to bother them with anything. So, I kind of did everything like starting at high school. So, it was kinda like not like different, really different for me.”
Kristina misses being a child where she didn’t have to care about how she would spend her money. Financial problems are one of the biggest struggles she had to experience on the route to her independence.
Photo Credit: Kathy Cao
Kristina: “I think it’s 50/50. I miss being able to not care about any payments or anything. But I like my independence, like being able to go to work, go anywhere by myself. Like money-wise or just life in general? Moneywise when I first became independent was like how to manage my money and not spend it on random stuff. Which took like budgeting and those kinds of stuff to manage. But life in general I think is just learning from my failures. So like, it could be I fail this and I keep on failing, it made me feel disappointed as a failure.”
Ever since I started high school, I have followed every step that Kristina made. From the classes she took in high school to the jobs she applied to. She was the leader and I was the follower. Even now, I’m still following in her footsteps as I make my way to independence from my parents. I’m relying on her advice for my success. She proves to me that not everything is always perfect and that starts with your financial problems and your education.
Kristina: “I have to pay for tuition next semester and I also am saving up for a car, so it's pretty hard because I need a car to transport to school or to drive to school, instead of taking the bus. But at the same time, I have to pay for tuition cause I didn’t want to take out loans yet.”
At first, I struggled a lot with learning how to save my money. I would spend and shop on things that weren’t a necessity. Yes, I know that sometimes you can just splurge on yourself as a reward. But I was spending the money I made like crazy without thinking about the future. Kristina’s guidance, I was able to make out a financial plan dividing up my money for tuition, car, rent, and savings. But still, have enough money to spend on the things that I like.
Photo Credit: Kathy Cao
College is one of the places in life where you get the most freedom. But as a lot of you may know, it’s nothing compared to what you see in the movies or books. It’s much more complicated than that. Even though I enrolled at SJSU intending to major in business finance, I’m still not sure if that’s the career path I want to pursue.
Kristina: “This is my second time switching majors. I was a corporate accounting and finance major but I hated accounting. So, I’m a finance major now but I still don’t know what I want to do in life yet. I just know I want to do something with money. So, it's okay to not have a direct career path, some people go into college undecided. College is the time to find out what you like and dislike, it’s just you won’t be a disappointment if you're a semester or a year behind and they’ll be proud of you either way.”
My big sister has always had a big impact on my life. With her help, I was able to accomplish many things that will help me in the future. She will forever be my guide and my role model. I hope that one day I’ll be able to give back the helping hand that she lend me.
The lesson you can take away from my story is that it’s going to be hard going through your independence by yourself and I know that when you think of independence, you think that “oh, to be independent is to be able to do everything by myself,” it could be, but that’ll be more difficult for you. It’s better when you have someone to guide you and show you the right direction. So, don’t try to do everything by yourself, ask for help when you need it.
Music Credits
Chill Night
Amine Maxwell & MICHAL
Dreamy Piano Soft Sound Ambient Background
WinxingFoxMusic
https://pixabay.com/music/modern-classical-dreamy-piano-soft-sound-ambient-background-4049/
In the Forest - Ambient Acoustic Guitar Instrumental Background Music For Videos
Lesfm
lemonmusicstudio
https://pixabay.com/music/acoustic-group-where-the-light-is-15702/
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