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By Kenny Nguyen
It was a Sunday night. My brother and I would cook food for a small night snack. It was mostly a bro to bro moment, but mostly to talk about the news around us while we were cooking and eating.
I set up the food on the table, but he told me we weren’t going to use some of them. So, he picked out the ingredients for tonight's food. I brought out a pan for the ingredients and noticed that today’s menu was going to be the first food we made since the beginning: sandwiches.
I put the pot on the stove and asked what’s with his appetite today. “Yo, what’s wrong?”
His eyes averted, making me more interested in what he was going to say. He held his usual face and posture. He grabbed one of the eggs on the counter and cracked it on the pan, pouring the yolk in the mixing bowl. His face became weary from holding his appearance and continued to mix the egg. The silence between us continued while he was mixing the bowl. I heard a cough from him, only to know it’s not good news.
“Kenny-” he choked and cleared his throat. His posture suddenly tightened and looked at me.
“Kenny, we’re moving.”
Picture here.
I immediately looked away, taking my time processing the news. I knew that what had been happening would end this place. I closed my eyes, recollecting the memories made in this apartment. Slowly, I started succumbing into the memories, finding anything that can keep me from being sane. Desperate from getting hurt from the news, I dived further down, until I lost my grasp.
My head started becoming angrier every memory that passes through. Thoughts of my parents showed up, making me more angry. I started rubbing my face to have some kind of sensation, but I slowly started losing my senses. *
My brain started to fog, where I couldn’t think anything rationally. I started putting the blame on myself for not being the son they wanted me to be or having the potential in learning, but don’t try to do it.
My hands slowly fell on the counter, thinking about the issues I could have fixed, but it’s too far gone to be fixed. The point where I don’t know what to do other than giving up. I couldn’t do anything other than wait for this to end. I stopped rubbing my face, coping with the news and forgetting everything around me. I began losing consciousness until I felt a tug from my arm.
“Kenny, you good?”
My eyes opened, only to be blinded by the light. I rubbed my eyes, realizing that I had forgotten everything done for tonight. My brother showed me the food, telling me that I should go to the kitchen table.
I took a deep breath and took a sandwich from the plate. We both ate, only for more news to come after we were finished eating. He told me everything about why we were moving out of the place.
Kyle:“The reason why we moved out was because of Mom. She was the one who made that decision at that time. She wanted to live in a bigger house or like a lot of things. It’s because she didn’t have her own room, she didn’t have a place where she can sleep. She’d always sleep with us, but she didn’t like that. Her decision, her choice, and Dad couldn’t do anything. Even if he paid more for the house, she wouldn’t like it because I think she had enough living in that house for like 15 or 20 years. Mom and dad had an argument over who should get Kristie (custody). Then she kicked dad out of the house, where we were looking for houses. The rent was spiking up, and we couldn’t do anything about it.”
I understood the feeling my mom felt when she was feeling too conscious of her own space, but there was an empty room—my grandma’s room—for use. However, she decided to put her desires first rather than family and decided that we need to find a bigger place to live in.
My mom was already struggling to pay rent on the old apartment, because she removed my dad and my grandma from the house, causing him to find a new apartment. She could have given the house deed to my dad, but she didn’t want us going with my dad. So, she would rush into finding a new place, only to live in a place with higher rent than before.
Since she needed money, she would take actions against my dad, threatening him to force us to stay with her, only for her to gain a source of income from my dad by using an excuse of taking care of us.
I knew that I’d move out of the apartment, but it felt painful knowing everyone changed. From jumping on the beds and celebrating our birthdays, we were enjoying our lives until my mom changed.
Kyle: ”Everyone felt separate. No one wanted to talk to each other. Seeing dad was hard because we had to drive to his house. In the end, we came together, helped one another, and made everyone comfortable living in this house.”
Photo Credit: Kenny Nguyen
I had been affected by it, but I’ve been holding on to everything since the beginning. There’s a lot of unethical judgments my mom made, and there’s a lot to learn from her to learn, not to make the same mistakes. I’ve been learning to pay attention to these kinds of judgments for myself, but to avoid hurting my family from going through the same experience again.
Photo Credit: Kenny Nguyen
Track: Breathe
Music composed and recorded by Oak Studios
Creative Commons - Attribution ND 4.0
Track: Echoes
Music composed and recorded by Oak Studios
Creative Commons - Attribution ND 4.0
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