Dedication to the care

By Andrea A

Birth is quite fascinating, isn't it? Nine months. Nine months or so of waiting and you have arrived. Whether it be naturally or through C-section, life came. I think life is fascinating and I know now that I'm not the only one out there who thinks so too.

Jackie: “When you study genetics and you see the possibilities of how things can go wrong and yet be so right, it’s fascinating.”

A couple days ago, I had the honor of being able to talk to a nurse who's been working night shifts in labor and delivery for a very long time. More than thirty years. A lot of what she said struck me. I came to realize that there's something often not shown into light at times. 

You were only a baby though, what might you remember in the first seconds of your life? She or he was there though. A nurse was there to help bring you into this world. I hope that through this story, we can raise awareness of what many nurses experience.

Not all nurses stay in the same unit throughout the span of their career. There can actually be a lot of things that drive a nurse to change where they take care of patients, whether it be due to the staff, interest, or something else.

Jackie quickly came to share a deep side of vulnerability that I did not anticipate, yet I appreciated her for it.

Jackie: “One of the reasons I left pediatrics is because, in one year, I went to seven funerals. We had so many oncology patients, so many cancer patients that it wears you down and that was one of the reasons why I left pediatrics and went to labor and delivery. So I think that's the hardest part…you can't save everybody... That's life, that's people. People are born, people live, people die, and that's part of nursing."

Being a nurse is not something to take lightly. Amongst the emotional rollercoasters one might face that is not all. Hospitals everywhere have been having major staff shortages thus leaving nurses and other staff to be affected. 

Often at times, many new trainees such as students or employees can come into hospitals to help but ultimately there are drawbacks.

Jackie: ‘’I may be short two nurses and they give me two new ones. Well, they're not up to the par that the other nurses are on. So you have to make some adjustments, but yes there's a major nursing shortage... You do with the best you can. So sometimes what you do is you don't have a lunch break either, you work without a break. It is what it is.”

For Jackie, nursing actually only first started out as an idea that occurred to her during her junior year in highschool. It ended up to be one of the things that she loved most. 

Jackie: ‘’All I said was I think I'll be a nurse and that was it. I never had been in a hospital, I never had anything to do with illnesses but it was like 'okay, I think I'll try that,' and it ended up being something that I really loved... Everything I was learning I found fascinating.”

Some may think of nursing as a quick check, but it's more than that. 

Jackie: “There's some stuff you just don’t get paid enough for... You don’t go into nursing for the money.”

Jackie says that in college, it was a bit of a struggle to balance school and life. 

Jackie: “It's a heavy load... I was doing a lot of studying when a lot of people were doing a lot of partying so that makes it harder because you're thinking 'I'm missing my whole college experience but if I don't study, then I don't pass.' So you have to decide what's more important.”

Looking straight ahead at her future and overcoming the social norm of partying, Jackie was able to become a nurse.

Jackie: “I found that studying and becoming a nurse was much more important."

The trials don't stop there though. She speaks on how shortly after graduation and actually getting to work in the field, she felt short of being an actual nurse. 

Jackie: “You come out and it's still much more than what you studied, because you're dealing with people. You can't look it up and do research. It's a whole person, and so when they teach you the skills and you try to translate them into the care, it's a huge learning process. I probably didn't feel like I was a real nurse… probably for about five years…“

Imposter syndrome is nothing new to those in the healthcare field. Imposter syndrome is the state of disbelief in one's own worthiness to be at a certain level of success. A study conducted in 2019 found that 70% of graduate nursing students experienced this.

Even though it seems like piles and piles of downsides, nursing, like any other occupation, has its own uniqueness.

Jackie: “In itself, it's very rewarding…if you like people, it's fascinating work. I find it absolutely fascinating. And even though labor and delivery is very limited in the sense that babies come out two ways, dealing with people makes it exciting and interesting every single day so yeah, I wouldn't do anything different.“

Jackie came to share with me that she gets to experience on average at least one birth a day and to me, that is fascinating. 

Jackie: “There's usually at least one a day, sometimes there's more. Sometimes you can go a couple days with none and all of a sudden you have six.”

The way she talks about her experience in getting to deliver babies just brings this certain kind of joy to me that is really unexplainable.

Jackie: “That actually happens. How can that possibly be? It's such a natural process I get. We're there to help but the process itself is just natural. It happens by itself. Some people need more help than others to get a baby out but just when that baby comes out, it's like 'wow.'... It does not matter how the baby comes out.

Andrea: ‘’It's life.’’

Jackie: ‘‘As long as the baby comes out okay, as long as the baby comes out screaming, crying, and pink, and pretty, it doesn't matter whether it came vaginally or if it came c-section. It came, and it's like, you're handing this baby to these parents waiting months and it's just the look on their faces when they see that baby for the first time... You see life, and there's a certain beauty to it that I haven't seen anywhere else.”

Jackie also came to share with me that through being one of the first of her generations to not only become a nurse but also graduate college, she has left an impact on her family.

Jackie: “My niece became a nurse as a result and my nephew is studying to be a nurse as a result.”

It seems as though nursing is something only some are able to do. Not for the weak. Constantly learning and never seeming to take a break. It has its challenges but overall has more than satisfactory rewards.

Jackie: “No matter how bad it getsm it's always okay, it's always manageable. It's always 'you can get ahead, you can do it, because you love the job' and I love the job.”

 I think it's a beautiful thing. So, can we take a moment to appreciate our nurses?

For the Warrior Times, this is Andrea Ayala.