DIGITAL INTIMACY

By MT C

Entering a new high school as a freshman can be scary and kind of lonely but Kathy Nguyen, a student in San Jose, already found her crowd on an online messaging platform, Discord.

During quarantine, while watching one of her favorite YouTubers, Kathy discovered an app that would change her life. Being locked up at home with her family was surprisingly lonely.

“Sometimes we are close, but most of the time not really. It’s because at home, everyone’s always using their device, doing their own thing,” said Nguyen. Because she had no one to talk to and nothing to do, she decided to give Discord a try, and it’s a decision that she’s glad she made.

Before downloading the app, she kept her issues bottled up inside and didn’t tell anyone because she “didn’t really know who was a true friend.” Nguyen expressed that it was easier for her to connect with online friends than with in-person ones. She has always felt like she doesn’t belong around other kids, she doesn’t understand their humor, and she can’t really be herself around them.

But on Discord, it’s completely different. It’s a place for her to unbox her emotions and rant to friends that actually care whenever something is stressful at home or at school. And it’s also a place where she can hop on call and play games with people and just enjoy their company.

One of her favorite moments on Discord was when she played Among Us with her friends and basically cheated on the game. “Me and my friends would stand in one corner and it made us look like one player; whenever someone tried to kill us there would also be three other people there, then we would report the imposter!” said Nguyen.

Ever since Nguyen signed up on Discord, she’s made a ton of friends that she still holds dearly to her heart. Out of all of those people, one stood out to her the most, someone that she will never forget, Gabriel.

She said, “I’ll never forget them because they are like an older brother that I've never had. If I ever felt down they would make me laugh, feel better. They were always there for me. Still is.”

Even though they live miles away from each other, in completely different cities, she still feels a genuine connection with Gabriel. Discord makes the distance between her and Gabriel feel insignificant because they don’t feel so far away when she can easily talk to them on call every night. “I’m planning to go to his graduation. No clue if I’ll be able to, but I’ll try,” said Nguyen.

Nguyen’s parents are always blaming her mistakes on her phone. “It’s because of your phone, you bring your phone everywhere!” said Nguyen in a funny voice, mimicking her parents.

But she actually needs her phone. Because of it, she’s never lonely; she can just pull out her phone and her friends would instantly be there for her. “I remember on my first day of school, I was hella nervous because I didn’t know where any of my classrooms were. I was so stressed so I talked to them and they calmed me down,” said Nguyen.

With the friend’s she's made on Discord in mind, she can live everyday confidently as a new freshman at Yerba Buena, knowing that someone out there has her back. “If I’m being honest, I’m very scared of high school deep down…but I just want to get the feeling that I passed, that I actually did it.”