mi mariposa azul

By Navi G

My blue butterfly, the person in my life that represents both rebirth and hopes of a new beginning. In many more ways that I could ever put into words, they were the start of my sprouting into a graceful butterfly. 

However, one with scarred, delicate wings that have been hurt and torn. Even with the scarred wings, Atlas and I learned to fly but not without the support from one another. Not only does it bring us closer together, but this strengthens our bond to feel more open to talk about more sensitive topics.

Atlas: “I've been more happier. I wasn't expecting someone like you to come into my life when I didn't know I needed it. I'm a lot more open about things 'cause you know, still a little bit more nervous to talk to people. That's okay though. Let's see, I like to be more talkative now 'cause you know, I used to be a lot more shut in. I still am though, but with other people, so I think you’ve made me more of a better person.”

I remember when we first crossed paths in flight. It was during 4th period and I didn't want to go to class, so I went to Mr. Tsai’s class to go see one of my friends, Luis. As I was talking to him about a gay uno card set on the Target website, I remember making a “that’s what she said” joke and our friend, Audrey, bumped them on the shoulder and commented on how I make jokes like them. A small similarity that would lead to much more. 

Though unsure of what their name was during the time, when I first saw them, I couldn’t help but think, they look like someone named Atlas. After finding out their real name was Aimee, I still wanted to call them Atlas—but as a nickname, of course. After a while, it just became a habit of calling them by their nickname; soon everyone else started to call them that. 

Atlas: “Well, I was a little surprised at first, but I got used to it pretty quickly. When you told me the initial meaning behind the name Atlas, I felt my heart skip a beat. It was really nice hearing you explain WHY you chose to give me that name, as well as what you thought about me in the progress. So, yeah! I really love being called Atlas by you and by other people.”

When I finally got the courage to actually talk to them, I commented on their school email profile picture since it was from one of my favorite animes, My Hero Academia. That was the first spark. I remember flying. The second time I came around, the memory is a little fuzzy, but I know we decided to get “married” during forensics with our friend, who just so happened to be Audrey, as the priest, as well as there being other witnesses to see the beautiful wedding. If anything, that marriage was our version of a “talking stage“; we held hands like an actual couple, gave each other rings, and I remember kissing them right on the cheek then running back to class.

Atlas: “You looked friendly. (Navi: How does someone look friendly?) I don't know, you had a smile on your face when you came into the door. So, I was like 'hmm, that's pretty approachable' but no, I was too shy to say something at first.”

It could be as simple as a message from them, such as “GOOD MORNING, MI VIDA!!!” to make me smile like an idiot while kicking my feet. They've changed me from an empty shell of a person back to “the goofy guy” I've missed myself being for a while.

Atlas: “Yeah, I remember you saying Daisy pointed out you're more calm. I don't know, I like to make sure you go to bed on time now. You don't, but that's okay. Eating at lunch sometimes even though I know what happens after but yeah and other things.”

In the same sense, I’ve changed their life; I'm helping them through their journey of healing, too. If there's one thing I've learned about them is that they're a lot stronger than they give themself credit for. We’ve had our moments where one of us was crying while being vulnerable—sometimes that's just what it takes. Sometimes it doesn’t need to be just the two of us talking or laughing. You slowly learn that it’s okay to let go of anything on your chest and listen to the other's situation, even if you feel unsure at first. 

Atlas: “I cried the very first time 'cause I'm so used to texting people online like how I feel and even then, I would ignore people. I wouldn't even be on my phone for days. It was really bad but when you said you're proud of me, yeah, I just cried 'cause that was what I always wanted to hear but never heard it. I might cry, but it was weird talking to someone in person 'cause I'm not used to it. It's always been online, even in voice messages, it feels so weird because I like doing it in person but never could.”

Atlas and I have grown together as people, and I feel like what we’ve gotten through together is a huge milestone for us, especially celebrating our 2 month anniversary on March 22nd. This generation is surrounded by ghosting, never texting back and even breaking up with them because they didn't text fast enough, but I don't think they understand relationships come with quiet days and days where you don't text as much. Between Atlas and I, we have our days because of school work or personal issues and both of us get it. Both of us have that understanding. I just wish more people in our generation did as well. 

For the Warrior Times, this is Navi Granado and Atlas <3