Slowly Losing my Uncle

By Alondra R.

Instead of having a close relationship with my grandpas since they passed away, I never got the chance to meet them or my other family members, like my cousins who were either in Mexico or Guatemala. The older sibling on my mom’s side, being my uncle, was the only one living near me and that is what created that special connection between me and him.

My mom would tell me how he was the first to visit when I was born and how he wanted me to be named “Petrita”, always having the most random names for me as I grew up. He would always make me laugh by making fun of the way I pronounced words in Spanish or when I would help him make pizzas and he would throw dough powder on me. He would also take me everywhere with him since he would take care of me sometimes or we would go with him almost everyday, there was this time when he took me to his job when I had no school. It was a one in a time experience, he was a truck driver and we had to go up hills and stops where there were other truckers like him, and I loved how I would be his GPS guiding him.

What I loved most about him was that he always tried to live the best out of his life but that later on brought consequences onto his life. Being diabetic and having the need to drink at least one beer a day got to slowly take a piece of him every day. It started with his foot that got infected by a push pin  and later having to amputate it. His lungs started feeling weak and had to start doing dialysis. A year after he had his foot amputated again due to the infection coming back all the way up to his knee. Watching how my uncle went from making jokes to zoning out got me sad and helpless. I wish I had a cure in my hands to just give it to him but there was nothing I could do.

It then got to the point where he had to sit on a wheelchair and could no longer take care of himself. He needed help and my aunt, his first wife and mother of his two children, took care of him. She surprised us by how she was the most loyal out of all the women my uncle had been with. I would see how she would put him to bed, spoil him with his favorite foods, take him everywhere she went, but one thing he would not let her do was give him a shower. That is when my dad came in and I got to see how much love they had for each other. My uncle was forever thankful for helping out, I’d say that he just wasn’t thankful for showering him but for the memories they had together. 

Time after he started losing his eyesight slowly where he wore glasses but then we noticed how he no longer could see. He wouldn’t say anything but we were able to see him not making contact with us, he was just guided by our voices. I had to see my uncle cry when it was decided to send him to an elder home. I hated how I couldn’t get him out of that place. I went from seeing him almost everyday when I was born to seeing him once every few months when I was 14. It was sad that I couldn’t see him but I loved how my parents were always there for him by sending him food and new clothes whenever they were allowed to. My mom would tell me how he would always ask for me and when being reminded of my age, he would be surprised at how fast I’d grown. It made my heart warm knowing he still worried about me.

Being soon 15 meant it was time to prepare for my quinceñera but with covid it had to be a sweet sixteen instead. I was really excited and had a special seat where my uncle was assigned to sit with my family in front. A week after turning 15, I was in my room when I heard my mom on her phone and called me over. She had received the news that my uncle passed away. I left my room not knowing how to react, I just had these tears falling down my cheek. My dad then walked in and asked me if I wanted to see him before they took his body away, without hesitation I nodded yes.

On our drive to the car I could hear my mom calling her other 7 siblings that my uncle was no longer with us. When we arrived at the hospital I saw my aunt and my cousin, I ran and hugged them with tears coming down my cheeks. We were then told that we had to take turns with a partner to see him in his room. I went last with my dad and due to the pandemic we had to wear suits and double masks.

I remember walking into his room and seeing him with his eyes closed. He was still warm my dad said, I noticed blood on his sheets coming from his knee where he was amputated. I didn’t cry but I was just in shock that he wasn’t sleeping and that this was just another joke of his. In my head I was screaming of thoughts, one being “DESPIERTA TIO, YA NO TE HAGAS EL CHISTOSO POR FAVOR” meaning ‘wake up uncle, don’t be funny please’.

When we left I was quiet on my way home just thinking of how I had to attend my very first funeral. I remember not second guessing raising my hand to volunteer and say a few words. I was nervous but not scared knowing he was in a better place. It was hard to see my aunt and his son cry when he was being taken away. 

A year later, it was the day of my sweet 16 and I was nervous and tried to enjoy it. Before the fun began with the dancing, I had to give a speech and decided to mention my uncle and how he was missing on such a big day for me. So from heaven, Tio te extraño y gracias por las memorias y las risas que me disteis, seguire siendo tu petrita.

For the Warrior Times, this is Alondra Reyes.