shadows of fear

By Alessia Vu

I’ve always assured myself that I’m fine but then I find myself pacing back and forth with a rush of fear shivering down my spine. 

Have you ever felt shy to verbalize with 

others because you’re not comfortable enough to actually converse?

That is social anxiety and unfortunately many suffer from it, including me.

Dating back to where I first started preschool was where the problem happened, literally. I didn’t want to go to school nor talk to new people. I had a hard time starting a conversation because I didn’t know what to say and wondered if I could even gather the courage to say something.

Moving forward, that lingered for a very long time and I could only cope by listening to music which made me push myself to forget the nervous moments. However, I came to a revelation at the start of middle school that there were others who had similar experiences to me such as my friends. This made me slightly feel better as I found people who I can relate to and who can understand what I go through.

I felt like I was slowly getting used to social anxiety, but I didn’t want that because I wanted it to dissipate. For the most part, constantly having to go through this at school was tiring because you'd be bound to get called on by the teacher, do presentations, or work together in groups one day. Those barely made me have fun in school at all.

Then, I ruminate about it for a very long time.

Why am I always fearing to socialize? New people I’ve met haven’t harmed me physically or verbally. Do I really care much about people’s opinions whenever I present in front of them? 

After being drowned in unclear presumptions, I finally knew my answer. Social anxiety is common, as it happens from time to time and I still have it to this day. Although it’s a hassle to deal with, pop music continuously helps me get through it by easing my mind and feeling pleasant to listen to. As of now, I’m slightly a different person than I was in the past. I don’t freak out when I’ve been called on. Instead, I tried to stay calm by thinking positively since to my teacher, it was ok to get the wrong answer.  

I’ve taken this challenge not something I find annoying, rather I embraced it and take it as something I can beat. Fortunately, I’ve gotten better than I had in my elementary years because I gained more friends than my younger self could have imagined.

I decided what’s best for me: while social anxiety is an infuriating pain to tackle, it’s also a chance for me to become better. It’s unpleasant to be pessimistic to think I’ll never become outstanding at socializing. Therefore, I thought it was time that I switch sides and proceed with what I have.

For The Warrior Times, this is Alessia Vu.