heart to heart

By Claire Chao

My boyfriend, Scott, became a huge part of my life in the Spring of 2023. 

We went from friends to lovers quickly. Going into freshman year, I had the mindset that I didn’t need or want a boyfriend. I convinced myself that I was an independent woman who didn’t need a man. But fortunately, all of that changed when he came into my life.

 Young love is beautiful. It’s like a butterfly that emerged from its cocoon, yearning to spread its colourful wings. Many people bash young love like it’s a drug, and say that “it will never last”. And it takes a lot to push those thoughts away and focus on your relationship instead of what others think. It’s a hard stage to go through, but as long as you and your partner are ready to commit to each other, and are set on having a future together, it’s not as hard as it seems.

 With me and Scott, thoughts of us having a future together came early and it never stopped. We would always discuss what we could do, where we could go, and our future goals. Sure, it was a heavy topic, but it came naturally and it was good to talk about so it won’t be so hard on either of us later. Mixed with school and life overall, of course, your whole relationship won’t go perfectly. You have to make time and effort to constantly put into your relationship. It can be tiring at times, but the sacrifice can make a great relationship in the end. 

Young love is full of curiosity and discovery. The rushes of adrenaline when you see that special someone, the nervous anticipation of their texts, the countless daydreams of them—that's the soft delicacy of it. You’re so captivated by love and happiness that you don’t think of anything else. It’s the world's best feeling—to be loved. The mix of joy, vulnerability, and innocence is what makes all of it. 

It’s also okay to not be ready for anything serious. Consider yourself and how things would affect you if you did or didn’t do something. There are highs and lows, but you always want to work towards a better, higher goal that you want to see yourself and your partner at. But never, and I mean never, ask yourself questions like “Why did I do that?” or “Why did this happen to me?” Instead ask, “What was the lesson?”, “What could I apply from that to better my understanding of something?”. Questions asking why something is happening or happened to you aren’t going to help you envision a better version of yourself.

 You have to understand that things happen for a reason, and they are given to you because you can get through it. A relationship isn’t always going to be picture-perfect. You’re going to have a lot of disagreements and moments where you feel unheard. That is why you must always have to be in constant progress of bettering. You can comprehend so much more and learn how to deal with certain situations as your relationship progresses.

But then again, when you’re in a relationship, you must always reach out for support, no matter how big or small your conflict is, your partner is supposed to be there for you through thick and thin. This was a struggle for me for the longest time because I wasn’t open with my boyfriend. I was scared that he wouldn't care or that he'd give up on me because I had so many problems. 

But once I opened up more and more to him, I realized that his love overflowed the difficulties I had been facing alone. He helped me better understand what the true meaning of what “You’re never alone” means. He helped me realize that I could do everything every other person can. He helped me not care about what others thought, because in the end, they can say what they want, but you cannot always take it to heart.

It’s been a year and a half since we got together, and I am so thankful for the everlasting memories and moments we’ve had together. He will always have a special place in my heart. I am truly grateful for him and I couldn’t ask for a better half. He has done so much for me, it’s still crazy how there's still so much for us to discover and explore in the world.

When you finish reading this, I want you to know that young love is never easy and it takes time, but you shouldn’t give up on yourself so easily to the point where you feel unlovable. You are worth it and are most certainly capable of loving!

For The Warrior Times, this is Claire Chao.