Writing new chapters

TW: Story mentions depression and suicide. 

By Sofia Pardo

As a kid, I always thought that life was gonna be easy, especially as a teenager. I truly believed that nothing was gonna stand in my way. Well, all of that changed when it was too late to realize that life can be cruel and tough to handle. 

The first time life got in the way was in elementary school. The day I experienced bullying because of the way I looked, it never stopped until I reached the end of elementary school. I didn’t know what suicide was since I was a little kid, but it was that feeling that crept into the back of my mind, and it was very rough. 

It actually got so bad that I almost wrote my mom a goodbye letter. The same situation happened again when I reached middle school. However, instead of feeling the same way, I felt brave and talked to a trusted adult about the problems. I remembered feeling hesitant to speak up, but over time, I realized that speaking to a trusted staff member or adult is better than staying silent. And about middle school, I had my second experience of life getting in the way.

First heartbreak at only 12 years old. I’ll admit. It was even shocking to remember that I had my first relationship so young. Yet I went through it. It was probably more hurtful than anything else, and it became one of the biggest regretful decisions I ever made. Suicidal thoughts returned 10 times harder, and I thought it was gonna be my finality in life. It wasn’t. It instead made me stronger since I don’t want my mental health to be affected. What helped me was myself. I didn’t tell anyone about this, so I recovered on my own to feel okay. 

Finally, the third experience was getting backstabbed by three friends. It made me fall into depression after, and I didn’t know how to deal with real betrayal. I felt hurt, confused, and a bit angry that it happened. Yet I didn’t want it to happen. But it did. So after those three experiences, I felt like my life wasn’t gonna change, and the dark reality was gonna keep going on forever. 

That was until I reached the end of sophomore year and into the beginning of junior year. Like a whole 180 or 360 just happened. My life has suddenly improved. I had accomplished everything I dreamt of. Getting supportive friends (which was a blessing, considering that I’m always shy), a loving relationship, and removing any toxicity or negativity from my little world. 

Even though I may have bad days along with depression hitting through, I always remind myself that everything will be okay as long as I’m here and trying my best. I also told myself that the experiences I went through were just chapters, and that kinda brought me comfort to realize it. 

“That’s the beauty of life, Tony. It’s hard, and it’s scary, and it’s confusing. And it’s absolutely beautiful.” - Iron Man. 

For the Warrior Times, this is Sofia Pardo.